I just finished going through the latest edition of a magazine that I received. I was laughing so hard at one of the features they had for the month and wanted to share this with you along with pictures. In order not to violate any copyright laws, the wording will be changed to protect the innocent. (Me!) Enjoy.
1. You don’t hang from anything!
Don’t you humans know that curtains are fun to hang from? Or anything else for that matter!
2. You don’t race around the house at odd hours.
The fun is finding out where you finally end up before you lie down to rest! It’s always a surprise.
3. You don’t sleep all day long.
There’s no sense in getting up if you don’t feel like it! We need our 15-16 hours of sleep. Humans spend too much time and energy in worrying about everyday things. Just relax and be cool.
4. You don’t hack up hairballs or anything else.
Come on, what’s wrong with that. No big deal. If you have to get rid of something, you just do it. Which brings me to my next point. When you barf, you always have to do it in that big white bowl. Geez! You don’t barf on anything like chenille, silk, cashmere, or a sweater left on the floor. In fact, you don’t barf on ANYTHING good!
5. Some of you don’t raise chickens.
Most of you don’t even pluck your own chickens or traffic in chickens in any way. Hummm, chicken sounds pretty good right now!
6. You don’t have cardboard box furniture.
7. You don’t stare at anything.
Don’t you know that you have to keep staring because you might miss something!
8. You don’t play with packages that come in the mail.
You don’t stand or sit on them. You don’t even squat in them. You don’t do anything except open them. What kind of weirdness is that?
9. You don’t use the couch as a play toy.
Don’t you know that’s what couches are for? As a side note, they’re great for clawing and sharpening your nails!
10. You don’t leave food on pillows or inside of shoes.
11. You don’t understand the complexities of inside/outside.
12. You don’t bite ankles.
But, zombie cats do bite ankles to get to the brains. You don’t bite your friend’s ankles or even your enemy’s ankles. Is that any way to play?
The magazine gave 48 reasons in all; I combined some of them. Didn’t have pictures for everything, so I chose the cutest ones I could find. Hope you enjoyed it!
Marion Lovato is the author of Sam, the Superkitty. Her book describes an ordinary cat changing into a superhero to protect his family from things that go bump in the night. Available on Amazon as a paperback or Kindle edition. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1604588667